Women in Technology Book Club: GenderTalk

I have been attending TAG's WIT (Women in Technology) book club and love it for several reasons:

1) It's on a Sunday from 3-5:00. Great time as weekdays are often hard and this gives my husband a little daddy time alone.

2) We read and discuss business books with topics specifically geared toward women.

3) The women are very insightful, intelligent, and savvy

4) There is a great opportunity for networking

5) ***my favorite reason***We don't actually have to READ the book. Best of all, nobody makes you feel guilty and this frees me from the guilt which is why I have dropped out of other book clubs.

I am always reading several novels and professional development books at one time. Currently, I'm reading Twilight, New Moon, A Lifetime of Riches, Good in a Room, What do I say Next, and listening to a few different audio books including a novel by Atlanta author Iris Johansen and The Power of Full Engagement.

At this past meeting we "read" GenderTalks by Connie Glaser. The book generated some GREAT discussion on communication differences between men and women and I was taken aback to learn that I commit many of these communication crimes. Here are a few of my notes:

-Women need to cut to the chase in all communication with men. It was unanimously agreed that men do not understand hints. Be direct.

-Stop apologizing. I say "sorry" all the time. Especially around my male boss.

-De-sensitize yourself

-Don't expect mindreaders. Again, be direct, especially in conversation with your husband, your father, brother, coworkers, boss, waiter, accountant, etc.

-Stick to the facts; it is proven that men's brains cannot register excess verbal chatter.

-men need to keep criticism constructive.

-We need to see the world as WE are, not as it is.

-Communicate from where others are, not where you are

-Stop interrupting with apologies.

-Have a sense of humor. It is another proven study that women cannot tell jokes. If a man tells a joke around you it means he accepts you. Same with cussing.

-Women use more qualifiers. Stop qualifying, saying "I think" and "well maybe." Be confident.

-In emails, use bullet points and 10-20 words. Brief emails.

-Be direct, don't explain.

-One of the women had a great tip - instead of apologizing for something that is not your fault or as a conversation filler, say "That's unfortunate."

-Women need to be better self promoters.

-Speak about what you do well.

I look forward to our book and discussion next month!