Women in Technology Book Club: GenderTalk

I have been attending TAG's WIT (Women in Technology) book club and love it for several reasons:

1) It's on a Sunday from 3-5:00. Great time as weekdays are often hard and this gives my husband a little daddy time alone.

2) We read and discuss business books with topics specifically geared toward women.

3) The women are very insightful, intelligent, and savvy

4) There is a great opportunity for networking

5) ***my favorite reason***We don't actually have to READ the book. Best of all, nobody makes you feel guilty and this frees me from the guilt which is why I have dropped out of other book clubs.

I am always reading several novels and professional development books at one time. Currently, I'm reading Twilight, New Moon, A Lifetime of Riches, Good in a Room, What do I say Next, and listening to a few different audio books including a novel by Atlanta author Iris Johansen and The Power of Full Engagement.

At this past meeting we "read" GenderTalks by Connie Glaser. The book generated some GREAT discussion on communication differences between men and women and I was taken aback to learn that I commit many of these communication crimes. Here are a few of my notes:

-Women need to cut to the chase in all communication with men. It was unanimously agreed that men do not understand hints. Be direct.

-Stop apologizing. I say "sorry" all the time. Especially around my male boss.

-De-sensitize yourself

-Don't expect mindreaders. Again, be direct, especially in conversation with your husband, your father, brother, coworkers, boss, waiter, accountant, etc.

-Stick to the facts; it is proven that men's brains cannot register excess verbal chatter.

-men need to keep criticism constructive.

-We need to see the world as WE are, not as it is.

-Communicate from where others are, not where you are

-Stop interrupting with apologies.

-Have a sense of humor. It is another proven study that women cannot tell jokes. If a man tells a joke around you it means he accepts you. Same with cussing.

-Women use more qualifiers. Stop qualifying, saying "I think" and "well maybe." Be confident.

-In emails, use bullet points and 10-20 words. Brief emails.

-Be direct, don't explain.

-One of the women had a great tip - instead of apologizing for something that is not your fault or as a conversation filler, say "That's unfortunate."

-Women need to be better self promoters.

-Speak about what you do well.

I look forward to our book and discussion next month!

TSEA Event: Steps for Building Consensus and Enhancing the Value of Your Event Program

Today I had the pleasure of attending a TSEA (The Association for Exhibit and Event Professionals) event for the first time. I mostly applied because I was interested in the presentation which was going to be on "Steps for Building Consensus: Enhancing the Value of Your Event Program" given by Keith Reznick of Creative Training Solutions. As a side benefit I also sat with some really nice people. Although the presentation was tailored toward corporate exhibit managers it could also apply to sales. Here are a few of my takeaways:

-What are your clients objectives? Build value with your customers. "It ain't about you, it's about them."
-There is a gap between where your clients ARE and where they WANT to be. This gap is where you can provide value.
-what is your client/prospect trying to improve and why?
-Buy-In vs Consensus. Buy-in is where the decision has been made and you then ask for support on your decision. Example, "I need this of you." Consensus is a collaborative effort where the solution is decided upon together.
-understand your customer's perspective, goals. Help the stakeholder accomplish these.
-What's in it for them VS what's in it for me
-Always focus on the solution, not the problem.
-A golden rule in sales: Find out about them before you tell them about you.

How to Tell Your Story

Last week I had the pleasure of hearing Mike Wittenstein, CEO of Storyminers give a presentation on How to Tell Your Story. He specializes in helping businesses define and amplify how their customers see them but this can apply to individuals as well. Here are my notes from the program:

Expressing Yourself:
-identify, control, amplify. What is your vibe you put out?
-You can’t tell others your story; they will create from their perspective
-It is important that you be different. Different means preferred, better for your audience. Your story starts with how you’re different
3 steps:
1. Ask for testimonials - in an email, on LinkedIn, recommendations, etc.
-People will tell us who we are in their eyes. What themes continually pop up? Capture “turns of phrase” and understand the words they use. Learn to see yourself as others do
-use that to say “some of my clients say that I am ___." Or “one of my past colleagues said that I am __.”
-get 2 dozen testimonials
2. Create a Reason for Being
-this is your North Star, why you wake up. Where is your focus, passion?
a)WHO do you serve? Characterization of target audience. Who is your customer? State in their words
b) what OUTCOME do you deliver? What does someone value? Ex, what activity
c) HOW do you do it?
Mike's example: I help people in business. I help them tell their most important story. I capture patterns/experiences that connect them to their audience.
3. Record a friendly interview (not a Matt Lauer interview)
Ask amazing questions. Ex. Who is your hero? What are your ideas, values? What’s your reason for being? What motivates you, makes you tick? When to follow vs when to lead? Lead up to focus, help them focus their strengths. Take the tape recorder and turn it around. See what/how they tell their story. How do they interpret your story? Practice over and over. Fresh feedback.

Final Notes:
-think about "What does the work I do look like?" Create an experience that other person discovers is uniquely you. Read between the lines; what do you remember most? Plant nuances. What would you tell another person about me/him/her?
-Control: Is not possible. Own your presence, profile. Be consistent everywhere. Check yourself out.
-Amplify: share your story. Be consistent and be everywhere (Bio, Resume, twitter, blog, website, mktg plan, etc). Work your passions and discipline. Find yourself and share info properly. Create your own sales team. 10 tell 10. Loose connections and connectors (Malcolm Gladwell)
-Don’t stick your head in the sand. What floats your boat, makes you DIFFERENT and BETTER.

Go through these exercises, discover this, and you are on your way.

Re:FOCUS on Careers and Daniel Silva Book Tour

The past week I attended two great, but very different, events. The first was the Daniel Silva book signing at the Barnes and Nobles in Buckhead. There were a lot of fans there and the discussion was great. I am interested in Daniel but have never read his books before, which I hope to do soon. You could tell by the Q&A and lively interaction that his fans are very loyal though, which is great.

The second event I attended was with Re:Focus on Careers. There were over 95 professionals in a packed room listening to expert storyteller Mike Wittenstein share tips and advice on how to brand yourself and to literally, tell our own story. Then for the first time I participated in speed networking. Whew - I have A LOT of follow up to do now! As I have learned, working the room is only half the battle. The majority of what networking is all about is the follow up.